Power to Her

By: Annelise Orthey

In the land of the gladiators and of great rulers such as Julius Caesar, power seemed to be everywhere in Italy. It was wedged between the cobblestone beneath our feet as we walked through twisted streets, down narrow alleys with looming windows, and more blatantly at cafés as men hooted and hollered at passing women.

Our class sat down with Vanna Ugolini, decorated journalist and author of Non È Colpa Mia, a book about gender violence toward women in toxic relationships in Italy. Ugolini told us that women objectivity is “a problem of power.” And I agree.

Picture this. Three young girls in their twenties walking down narrow Italian streets paved with cobblestone. As they pass, the boutiques are overflowing with spices and sweaters. The girls find themselves passing a café-type restaurant that seems to only be serving coffee, pizza, and beer. There’s a group of men sitting outside of the café. They’re between 40 and 50 years old, and they seem to be very comfortable where they sit, as if they have sat there many times before and have no intention of leaving. The girls pass and the men go wild.

There’s catcalling, hooting and hollering, and my personal favorite “Shakira!! You are Shakira!!”

I wish I was making it all up, but unfortunately this was a common interaction for my friends and me in Italy. In fact, we got so used to it, we would walk right past them without a second thought or even a pause to acknowledge the men. We let them hold power, instead of calling them out for what they were doing.

In our interview with Vanna she told us that objectification and abuse of women were “part of a great system.” I had born witness to this system, where the men felt so weak compared to the strong Italian women in their lives that they felt they had to prove their strength by objectifying random women in the streets. I’m talking about the 4’8” women who seem to push their way through crowded Italian streets uttering angry Italian under their breath. It is these same women who can be seen leading men with stern looks, or sitting in cafés with their 3-inch stilettos tucked neatly under red checkered table cloths. These women have the capacity to show the men who’s boss if only by the sheer volume of their loud and powerful voices. They are strong, they are mighty, and they are powerful.

It was a game of power. One in which the men hated to lose.

However, the scene changes. Just two weeks after my friends and I experienced this type of objectification, we went back to Italy, this time with a bigger group that included male classmates.

We no longer got catcalled. There was no more hooting and hollering. And we no longer got compared to Shakira. Perhaps it was the extra croissants that I had eaten in the time between my two trips… Or perhaps it was because the men at the café felt as if their power was matched by the men in our group - something they had not felt when my girlfriends and I were alone.

I want to make something clear. I am a strong woman. I take pride in knowing that I am strong because I have gained my strength through the strong women in my life. So, it made me wonder how these men could get away with such behavior when there were so many strong, powerful women in Italy.

It reminded me of yet another point that Vanna had made: “We can change together… Women cannot do it alone.” This is an issue that we need to embrace as a whole; as men, as women, young and old. It was an issue that needed to be addressed by the citizens of the world. Because while this may seem like a cultural norm in Italy, it is also one that countries all over the world struggle with. The conversation has already started but it’s one that has grown so powerful that the only way to combat it is to combine our strength, as an international community.

As my classmates and I sat with Vanna in a traditional Italian restaurant in the middle of Italy, on a clear November night, slurping down spaghetti, and drinking authentic Italian wine, it was made obvious that while Vanna has a long list of prestigious accomplishments, including some of the highest journalistic honors, it was the role that Vanna played as a mother and as a woman that were the most important to her. These roles influenced all of Vanna’s work. They made her passionate about the change she felt needed to occur. And they inspired her to make a difference in the world.

The last thing Vanna left us thinking about, was what she said when she put down her fork and looked each of us square in the eyes, saying “If you are criticized, you are doing the right thing.” So, go do the right thing, men and women of this world. Go be powerful.